Roses are red…

Coffee thoughts on Valentine’s Day…

Roses are red, violets are blue,
sugar is sweet, and so are you…

and then my analytical mind kicked in.

Violet is a color. Purple. Why aren’t violets violet? So I went to the internet. Violets are violet. And blue. And orange, and yellow, and lilac, and a whole host of other colors. So why couldn’t it be:

Roses are red, violets are orange…

It really bugs me for some reason that a flower is named after a color, and then that flower isn’t always that color. It seems to be mostly purple, but the rhyme calls out blue. Then I see that violets are more properly called violas. Ok, that makes more sense…

Roses are red, violas are blue…

Except violas come mostly in purple, which might be why they’re called violets.

Roses are red, violas are blue and purple and orange…

Except roses aren’t just red. I mean, there’s pink, and white, and gold.

Roses are gold, and pink and sometimes red, and violets are purple, and orange, and sometimes blue,
sugar is sweet,

and so are you… sometimes.

Sugar seems to be the only straightforward thing in this world.

The Legend of Five Reasons, Finally!

Across from the Robot Restaurant in Shinjuku, Tokyo, there is a bar called Ohana (which seems to translate as ‘flower’). This bar holds great wisdom, such as the five reasons to drink sake.

finally for reasons

  1. First of all, for the national holiday.
  2. Morevoer, it fills with the nectar.
  3. Finally, for reasons.
  4. Next, to heal the dryness of the place.
  5. After that, to refuse the future.

This is the best example of “Engrish” I’ve seen. Given that this is a high tourist zone and a sake bar, I’m not sure it is unintentional. It could have been a very clever, deliberate form of meta-Engrish.

The Game of Five Reasons

So, the rules are, adapt the five reasons to another activity. The 1st, 2nd, 4th, and 5th must be adapted from the sake reasons. The 3rd reason must remain the same, for “finally, for reasons” is eternal.

Five reasons to read fantasy:

  1. It relaxes between the national holiday.
  2. Morevoer, it fills with the imagination.
  3. Finally, for reasons.
  4. Next, to heal the dullness of the place.
  5. After that, to refuse the present.

FIVE REASONS TO write FANTASY:

  1. It relaxes between the national holiday.
  2. Morevoer, it spills from the imagination.
  3. Finally, for reasons.
  4. Next, to accompany bourbon.
  5. After that, to edit with coffee.

Five reasons to roast thanksgiving turkey upside down:

  1. First of all, it is the national holiday.
  2. Morevoer, it fills with the yumminess.
  3. Finally, for reasons.
  4. Next, to prevent the dryness of the breast.
  5. And really, no one needs turducken.

Five reasons to run a marathon

  1. First of all, to say it is done.
  2. Moreover, it burns the fat.
  3. Finally, for reasons.
  4. Next, to remove the writer’s block.
  5. After that, guiltless beer and frites.

Until next time, what are your five reasons for your favorite activities?
~Kyle